The word selfish, has a negative patch when you hear it by itself. But in it’s deepest meaning being selfish it’s not such a bad thing and here is why.
In order to be generous and ancillary with others you should first treat yourself as you deserve. Surely, that’s not something you can easily achieve , especially if you always put the needs or opinions of others above yourself.
This phenomenon as referred above, happens mainly because by sacrificing a great part of your own self and willingness constantly in others dispense and doing things that don’t align with you character makes your happiness trampled. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should stop helping people when you can, especially in difficult situations.
Being selfish should allow you to have a clear state of mind, stop giving a fuck about small and unimportant things, basically to stop creating problems out of nowhere but on the contrary start doing things that contribute to your personal development or make you feel more relaxed.
Imagine this: You have a small number of fucks to give and you want those at the most important moments or events of your life. If you start spending more fucks than the ones you have, you will find yourself in a fuck-verse and everything that happens, fucks you. Last time I checked, being mentally fucked all the time is not good.
So, how do you achieve the selfish, ‘zero fucks given’ state, without being a dick to the others?
Simply , by managing to live in a certain way as though simultaneously not affecting the lives of others with a negative impact . However, if a decision or an action you are willing to take does affect someone else’s situation , means that you are not alone on this and before you do anything , it would be better to discuss it with the person that your action will affect.
It’s not as easy is as it sounds, but practice makes perfect. Keep asking yourself, should I give a fuck about this? Is it really that important to deserve spending my time and effort on it?
I suggest the following book to further understand the above mindset
The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F by Mark Manson
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